Babies will sometimes give you a little warning look when something bad is about to happen
For the record, this is Belle's "Poopy Face":
"Parental Instinct" is very real
We have never had more erratic sleep in our lives. Not because Belle is a bad sleeper, she is actually pretty good for a newborn, but because every sound sends us flying out of bed to check if she is still breathing. At the hospital I set an alarm to make sure she woke up at least every four hours to eat and I found myself sitting up in bed ten minutes before feeding time, wide awake, saying "Alright I'm ready!". Yesterday she was taking a nap in her bassinet just a few feet away from Stephen and I on the couch when we heard what sounded like throwing up. Not spit up, this sounded like substantial throw up. We both shot up and sprinted across the room, sending things flying off the coffee table as we scrambled to get to her. Stephen picked her up immediately and went for the bulb syringe while we checked to see if she was choking when I noticed a little wet stain on the mattress where her diaper used to be.
"Honey?" I said "I think that was just poop..."
We stood there in wild-eyed adrenaline fueled confusion for a moment before we agreed that maybe we were just a little wound up.
Sometimes it can be really nerve wracking. Belle had some swelling in her head from the vacuum and forceps (they had to use both even though it was a C-Section) and someone from our pediatrician's office came down to check on her. She had a very tender spot on the back of her head that had been hurting her and the doctor went in and pressed on it, feeling around like it was nobody's business. Belle let out a little pained squeal and started to cry and I nearly jumped out of bed and punched the woman in the face, anesthesia, stitches, and all. Luckily our actual pediatrician was much more gentle with her!
As soon as you change their poopy diaper, they will poop again
I don't know. It's just nature.
Maternity Nurses may be the most caring and patient people on the planet
Sure, I knew that nurses have a hard job and they had to take care of people, but I guess you don't realize how much that means until you are that person. Obviously being cut open, having your insides exposed, and losing thirty pounds of water and human baby leaves you in need of a little help with simple things like using the bathroom and being a paranoid first time parent leaves you with a lot of questions that could probably be considered really dumb. But when you're stressed and in pain and worried and you have no idea what to do it's really nice to be able to pick up the phone and have someone in your room within a minute to help you. After my surgery they told me I'd need to stay for five days and I wasn't really happy about it, but after the first night I was so grateful I'd have the nurses and doctors there to help with all those first time parent problems.
Sometimes Daddies make the best Swaddlers and Burpers
Neither swaddling or burping a baby is rocket science. It's not difficult and anyone can really do it. Or so they say... For some reason, Belle sleeps longer and deeper when Stephen's the one to burp and swaddle her after she eats. I've been told babies like mens' voices because they're deeper and that tends to soothe them, but maybe it's because he's just a better cuddler!
Have Patience
Of course have patience with the newborn, they are completely helpless and they can't control anything that's going on. That's a given. This breaks down more into two categories.
First, be patient with others. Having a baby is only hard for the parents (and probably the baby). Everyone else is just excited. First, you'll get a ton of unsolicited advice, most of which is welcome, but the problems come mostly from our more... well, elderly friends and families. Advice gems such as "Put jelly on the tip of the baby's bottle so they'll take it," or "Don't put lotion on your baby because their skin needs to get tougher and lotion is just making them weak,". Some of those older theories on childcare can be baffling, but it doesn't hurt to smile and nod and then just write it down to make jokes about later.
People also tend to be a little insensitive, most of the time unintentionally. I was talking to a friend just days after Belle was born about how the doctor told me it was unlikely I'd be able to have a natural delivery and that, because of my body type, I'd most likely have to have C-Sections with the rest of my children. I was expressing some sadness at this because I wanted the experience of a natural delivery and this friend, with the honest intent of comforting me, said something to the effect of "It's okay, C-Sections are the easy way out anyway,". This made me feel even worse. Not only did it de-value a scary birth experience, it hurt my feelings. Things have been said offhand by multiple people since then that I have to remember are meant with the best of intentions. No one is trying to make you feel bad.
Second, be patient with yourself. Because of post-partum (this can affect dads too by the way), overwhelming lack of sleep, inexperience, and the aforementioned unintentional insensitivity, it's hard to not feel like a bad parent sometimes. Just remember that you're not. You and your baby are both new at this.
Do What Works
Maybe we can chalk this up to the fact that Belle had been held almost non-stop by not only her parents, but by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and extended family for the first week of life while we were still in the hospital, but she absolutely refused to sleep if she was not in my or Stephen's arms. We had her bassinet all ready to go, right next to our bed, and she would cry immediately if we put her in there to sleep. After a few nights of struggling, we gave up. I slept out in the living room (Belle curled up on my chest) on a recliner that laid back a lot like how the hospital bed worked and Stephen slept next to us on the couch for moral support and late night diaper changes. At least this way we could get a decent night's sleep.
We did this for a few nights while we tried to figure out the bassinet. At one point I put her down on a pillow sitting on my legs while I opened some mail and she settled right in. We tried that in the bassinet and while that was better, she still wasn't staying in there very long. Eventually we figured out she was cold because the pillowcase was a more silky material, so after putting the pillow in the bassinet and covering it with a flannel blankie, she is now sleeping in her bassinet for stretches of over four hours!
It Gets Easier
We made a mind blowing discovery soon after Belle was born: Being a parent is hard. It's something you hear all the time and think you understand until you have the baby and your life spirals out of the ordinary. That first week is killer. Your sleep schedule is thrown out of control, you do very little outside of caring for a small, living, feeling thing, and on top of it all, you can't communicate. Being a newborn has got to be the worst. Not only do you have very little control over your body, you have no way of indicating what's bothering you. And if you're the firstborn, you get to put your life in the hands of two greenies who can barely change a diaper. Basically, it's difficult for everyone involved.
But it does get better.
Easier may not be the best way of putting it, because being a parent is always hard, but it becomes "easier-hard". For example Belle's first week of life was insanity with her sleeping schedule. She would sleep for an hour then wake up hungry and repeat all night long until Stephen and I were both bleary-eyed zombies. We thought it was going to be that way forever and we were both going crazy. But by the second week things started to change. I don't imagine it's always a two week adjustment, it may be longer or shorter, but we've realized that with everything that has presented a challenge (sleeping, nursing, diaper changing, baby gas) it has gotten easier-hard.
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