Our Christmas Letter

Dear Friends and Family,

It has been an eventful year for the Swensens! When we started 2013 Kelsi was already four months pregnant and Stephen was just trying to get through his last semester of Undergrad. All that hard work paid off though, and he graduated in April with his Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science. He has since taken the LSAT and applied to several Law Schools. He has already had an acceptance from Michigan State with some scholarship money and is waiting to hear from the rest before we decide were we will end up for law school.

We were blessed with a great opportunity this year; A couple in the ward Stephen grew up in has left on a two year mission as the medical supervisors in Europe and asked if we would house-sit for them. We have been here about six weeks and are loving being able to live in and take care of such a nice, big house!

We handled the pregnancy very impatiently (distracting ourselves with a trip to Disneyland) but were very excited when Baby Belle Valory Swensen finally arrived nine days late on May 27^th. She is beautiful and perfect and we are learning a lot from having her around! When Belle was eight weeks old she underwent a surgery for Craniosynostosis, a condition Stephen also had as a baby, where a suture in her skull fused prematurely and had to be cut out. She recovered incredibly and very quickly and now wears an infant helmet to help shape her skull so it will grow right as she ages. We have had the helmet for almost five months now and only have one more to go! We have felt incredible blessed as she has grown since the surgery and everything has gone perfectly according to all of her doctors.

After 12 weeks of maternity leave Kelsi went back to work but found it pretty difficult to be away from Belle, even in the very early hours of the morning. Luckily Stephen got a job at DMBA, the health and financial benefits company for the Church and its affiliates, and Kelsi was able to quit and become a full time mommy!

Stephen is enjoying his work and is treated very well by his employers. He was hired as a compliance analyst dealing with the retirement financial plans. He has learned a lot about 401(k) plans and the governmental regulations associated with them. He enjoys the “Sherlock Holmes” work—as he calls it—of finding and solving problems associated with the financial benefits of a these employees. Stephen will return to school Fall 2014 for three years of law school where he will receive his Juris Doctorate degree and being working as an attorney.

Kelsi is loving being a stay at home mommy—and couldn’t be happier. She enjoys spending her days taking care of Belle, and seeing her learn and grow on a daily bases. She also decided to dabble in running her own small business on Etsy, and online marketplace, where she sells T-shirts, aprons, and canvas handbags. She has found a lot of success and enjoys letting her creative side out and seeing others enjoy her designs. She has been busy with the new home and is busy being a new mommy and housewife.

At this time of year it is important for us to remember what it is really all about. He know that two thousand years ago the Savior of the world was born, even Jesus Christ. We add our testimonies, along with others, that he lives and is our redeemer. Let us all take time this Christmas Season to reflect upon the true meaning of Christmas. Merry Christmas!

With Love,

The Swensen Family

Craniosynostosis

Well, Monday was Belle's Six Week Cranioversary and she is doing great!

That being the case, a lot of people have been asking about the surgery so I've decided to finally just up and write about it. I've already talked about how she was diagnosed and what the process basically entailed here, so I'll just start at the surgery itself.

We were scheduled to go in for the surgery at 6:00 am (they like to do the youngest children first) so we left for Primary Children's early. This was nice because I wasn't allowed to feed her three hours before so she slept the whole time and didn't cry for being hungry. I did not like being there. I'm particularly sensitive to suffering children (that doubled the minute I became a mom) and this place was full of them.

After what seemed like a long wait they took us back to get her all ready. We met with Dr. Siddiqi (the cranio-facial surgeon), Dr. Riva-Cambrin (the neurosurgeon), and the anesthesiologist (whose name I don't remember), who went over the process with us again and answered any questions we had. 

Finally the anesthesiologist took her back for the surgery. Handing over our little girl was probably the hardest thing either of us have had to do. I'm just glad she was asleep.

They had a waiting room for parents where we stayed. I remember the wait being very long and at one point I went upstairs to use the breast pump room but looking back the wait seems extremely hazy. I remember nothing. Every so often a doctor would come in and have a quick chat with parents, some through different stages of surgery, some finished, and giving them some encouraging news about how their children were doing. All of them just approached the parents in the main room, but when Dr. Siddiqi came in his face was unreadable and he asked us to join him in one of the private rooms. I was panicking, I knew something had gone wrong.

Belle with her surgeon, Dr. Siddiqi

When we got to the room he just smiled and said "Everything went perfectly!"
He gave us some tips on what would happen next and how she would do for the next little while and how to take care of her. He told us they'd call the receptionist when they were ready for us in recovery and I feel like that took forever. But finally she called us and I went down first (only one parent was allowed in at a time). She was still pretty sedated but every once in a while she let out a single, dry, weak sob and a few little tears spilled out of her eyes. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen and very hard.

I sent this picture to Stephen before we switched and he came in to see her. I don't even like looking it.

After that they wheeled us up to her room where she slowly started to wake up. I could tell she was in a lot of pain, so we started her medicine regimen (tylenol and oxycodone). The first day was very hard, she was so unlike herself. We had to move her very carefully and every time we did she would cry.

By the way that's iodine on her head not blood...

She slept all night even though we didn't. First of all we were on a very tiny and uncomfortable strip of rubber padding trying to wind ourselves around each other enough to fit and second, well...

We WERE in a hospital after all... I finally got a few hours when Stephen gave up and just sat in the equally uncomfortable chair for a while. When I woke up and realized he was there I made him get some sleep as well and he said he felt like a bad husband because every time someone (the nurses, lactation consultant, resident, etc) he was asleep!

Anyway the important thing is that by that morning Belle had made huge strides. She was acting like her old self and she was no longer in as much pain. She was even able to breastfeed like normal instead of bottle feeding! By 2:00 that afternoon they came in and told us she was ready to go home.

We kept her on her medicine regimen for about a week, but we only gave her the oxycodone for a few days on the regimen and as needed from there because it made her really sleepy...

About a week or so after her surgery she was fitted for her helmet and we got it about another week later. They warned us beforehand they had to cut it big so she could grow into it and not be uncomfortable, but MAN that thing was like a fishbowl!

We started getting her used to the helmet bywearing it off and on every other hour, the second day was two on, one off, the third day was four on, one off, the fourth day was eight on, one off, and finally we phased her into twenty three on one off. She has gotten used to it now and has filled it in a bit. It's a bummer covering up all her cute hair but at least her skull will be shaped right!

Long story short, Belle is doing Great!

Happy Birthday Stephen!

Somebody's turning 25!

Happy Birthday Stephen!
We Love You!
<3 Kelsi and Belle

Surgery for Belle

It's been confirmed. Our little Belle is going to need surgery.

When she was born she had some swelling in her head that they believed was due to the vacuum and forceps that had to be used to get her out during delivery, but they wanted to keep an eye on it just in case. So when she was two days old, our pediatrician, Dr. Mumford, came by to meet us and check on Belle. When he looked at her skull he felt along the back and the top and was concerned by some raised sutures. He said that may have been because of some prematurely closed spots on her skull. 

This was starting to sound horribly familiar, so I asked "Is it Craniosynostosis?"

Dr. Mumford looked surprised that I knew the term, so I told him Stephen had had it when he was a baby. 

Craniosynostosis is when one or more of the sutures in an infant's skull fuses to bone prematurely, leaving their skull with an odd shape and the brain with no room to grow or develop. Stephen had surgery for his when he was nine months old and has metal plates in his head and a long scar that goes ear to ear around his head from the surgery. Overall, his seemed very intense.

Dr. Mumford said that he wanted to keep an eye on it and that if the raised suture didn't go down in swelling we would need to see a specialist to go over our options, so at that point all we could do was wait. I called Stephen (who had gone home to take a shower and had just barely missed the pediatrician) and explained what the doctor had told me and he came back to the hospital minutes later. 

We were both pretty worried and spent the day in a fair state of emotional wreckage, but that night Stephen gave her her first father's blessing and we knew everything would be alright.

The sutures didn't end up going down so at Belle's checkup after we were discharged they set us up with a specialist at Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake. Naturally we couldn't see him right away so we had to wait about a week to know for sure what would need to be done about her head. 

It was agonizing.

Finally the day came and we left bright and early to go see Dr. Siddiqi. We had read and heard great things, he is the Chief Pediatric Cranio/Facial Surgeon at Primary Children's, one of the best pediatric hospitals in the country, so we were very happy with that. We got there and checked in at the clinic for the consultation, a process that took way too long. I had a bit of a difficult time getting a rather inept secretary to understand the concept of Medicaid, but eventually we got back to the exam room. Finally we were about to see the doctor!

Then a receptionist came in and told us they didn't take our insurance.

She went on to explain that they take Medicaid at the hospital itself, but not at the clinic, and we would have to reschedule an appointment to see Dr. Siddiqi at the hospital for next week.

I think I almost had an aneurism right then and there.

As we were getting ready to leave, the Doctor walked in and said "Insurance trouble?". We let him know the situation and, possibly knowing how worried we were, said he'd go ahead with the consultation "off the books". 

We really like our surgeon!

After a quick exam he was able to tell us that Belle has the most common type of craniosynostosis, in which the sagittal suture is fused (this is about 55% of synostosis cases). Since she has only one fused suture its referred to as "Simple Synostosis". Stephen's metopic suture was closed (which only affects about 5-15% of cases) and he didn't have a soft spot making it a "Complex Synostosis". She will be in surgery for an hour and a half and will only have to stay in the hospital for two days with no time in Infant ICU.

He explained that Belle will need surgery at around 2 months old. They will make two simple incisions and remove a section of the bone where the suture should be. This will basically give her one large soft spot and she will need to wear an infant helmet for six months to get her skull properly shaped. The best part of it all is how low risk the surgery is. The surgery has been refined and perfected since Stephen had it almost twenty five years ago and we feel very blessed to be close to such a good hospital and have such an experienced surgeon.

Belle is already proving to be a little trooper and will be just fine with a little recovery time!

Things We Learned from Having a Baby

Babies will sometimes give you a little warning look when something bad is about to happen

For the record, this is Belle's "Poopy Face":

"Parental Instinct" is very real
We have never had more erratic sleep in our lives. Not because Belle is a bad sleeper, she is actually pretty good for a newborn, but because every sound sends us flying out of bed to check if she is still breathing. At the hospital I set an alarm to make sure she woke up at least every four hours to eat and I found myself sitting up in bed ten minutes before feeding time, wide awake, saying "Alright I'm ready!". Yesterday she was taking a nap in her bassinet just a few feet away from Stephen and I on the couch when we heard what sounded like throwing up. Not spit up, this sounded like substantial throw up. We both shot up and sprinted across the room, sending things flying off the coffee table as we scrambled to get to her. Stephen picked her up immediately and went for the bulb syringe while we checked to see if she was choking when I noticed a little wet stain on the mattress where her diaper used to be.
"Honey?" I said "I think that was just poop..."
We stood there in wild-eyed adrenaline fueled confusion for a moment before we agreed that maybe we were just a little wound up.

Sometimes it can be really nerve wracking. Belle had some swelling in her head from the vacuum and forceps (they had to use both even though it was a C-Section) and someone from our pediatrician's office came down to check on her. She had a very tender spot on the back of her head that had been hurting her and the doctor went in and pressed on it, feeling around like it was nobody's business. Belle let out a little pained squeal and started to cry and I nearly jumped out of bed and punched the woman in the face, anesthesia, stitches, and all. Luckily our actual pediatrician was much more gentle with her!

As soon as you change their poopy diaper, they will poop again

I don't know. It's just nature.

Maternity Nurses may be the most caring and patient people on the planet
Sure, I knew that nurses have a hard job and they had to take care of people, but I guess you don't realize how much that means until you are that person. Obviously being cut open, having your insides exposed, and losing thirty pounds of water and human baby leaves you in need of a little help with simple things like using the bathroom and being a paranoid first time parent leaves you with a lot of questions that could probably be considered really dumb. But when you're stressed and in pain and worried and you have no idea what to do it's really nice to be able to pick up the phone and have someone in your room within a minute to help you. After my surgery they told me I'd need to stay for five days and I wasn't really happy about it, but after the first night I was so grateful I'd have the nurses and doctors there to help with all those first time parent problems.

Sometimes Daddies make the best Swaddlers and Burpers
Neither swaddling or burping a baby is rocket science. It's not difficult and anyone can really do it. Or so they say... For some reason, Belle sleeps longer and deeper when Stephen's the one to burp and swaddle her after she eats. I've been told babies like mens' voices because they're deeper and that tends to soothe them, but maybe it's because he's just a better cuddler!

Have Patience

Of course have patience with the newborn, they are completely helpless and they can't control anything that's going on. That's a given. This breaks down more into two categories.

First, be patient with others. Having a baby is only hard for the parents (and probably the baby). Everyone else is just excited. First, you'll get a ton of unsolicited advice, most of which is welcome, but the problems come mostly from our more... well, elderly friends and families. Advice gems such as "Put jelly on the tip of the baby's bottle so they'll take it," or "Don't put lotion on your baby because their skin needs to get tougher and lotion is just making them weak,". Some of those older theories on childcare can be baffling, but it doesn't hurt to smile and nod and then just write it down to make jokes about later. 

People also tend to be a little insensitive, most of the time unintentionally. I was talking to a friend just days after Belle was born about how the doctor told me it was unlikely I'd be able to have a natural delivery and that, because of my body type, I'd most likely have to have C-Sections with the rest of my children. I was expressing some sadness at this because I wanted the experience of a natural delivery and this friend, with the honest intent of comforting me, said something to the effect of "It's okay, C-Sections are the easy way out anyway,". This made me feel even worse. Not only did it de-value a scary birth experience, it hurt my feelings. Things have been said offhand by multiple people since then that I have to remember are meant with the best of intentions. No one is trying to make you feel bad.

Second, be patient with yourself. Because of post-partum (this can affect dads too by the way), overwhelming lack of sleep, inexperience, and the aforementioned unintentional insensitivity, it's hard to not feel like a bad parent sometimes. Just remember that you're not. You and your baby are both new at this.

Do What Works

Maybe we can chalk this up to the fact that Belle had been held almost non-stop by not only her parents, but by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and extended family for the first week of life while we were still in the hospital, but she absolutely refused to sleep if she was not in my or Stephen's arms. We had her bassinet all ready to go, right next to our bed, and she would cry immediately if we put her in there to sleep. After a few nights of struggling, we gave up. I slept out in the living room (Belle curled up on my chest) on a recliner that laid back a lot like how the hospital bed worked and Stephen slept next to us on the couch for moral support and late night diaper changes. At least this way we could get a decent night's sleep. 

We did this for a few nights while we tried to figure out the bassinet. At one point I put her down on a pillow sitting on my legs while I opened some mail and she settled right in. We tried that in the bassinet and while that was better, she still wasn't staying in there very long. Eventually we figured out she was cold because the pillowcase was a more silky material, so after putting the pillow in the bassinet and covering it with a flannel blankie, she is now sleeping in her bassinet for stretches of over four hours!

It Gets Easier

We made a mind blowing discovery soon after Belle was born: Being a parent is hard. It's something you hear all the time and think you understand until you have the baby and your life spirals out of the ordinary. That first week is killer. Your sleep schedule is thrown out of control, you do very little outside of caring for a small, living, feeling thing, and on top of it all, you can't communicate. Being a newborn has got to be the worst. Not only do you have very little control over your body, you have no way of indicating what's bothering you. And if you're the firstborn, you get to put your life in the hands of two greenies who can barely change a diaper. Basically, it's difficult for everyone involved.

But it does get better.

Easier may not be the best way of putting it, because being a parent is always hard, but it becomes "easier-hard". For example Belle's first week of life was insanity with her sleeping schedule. She would sleep for an hour then wake up hungry and repeat all night long until Stephen and I were both bleary-eyed zombies. We thought it was going to be that way forever and we were both going crazy. But by the second week things started to change. I don't imagine it's always a two week adjustment, it may be longer or shorter, but we've realized that with everything that has presented a challenge (sleeping, nursing, diaper changing, baby gas) it has gotten easier-hard.

And Then There Were Three

Baby Belle is finally here!

She was born at 6:09 PM on Monday June 27th.

After the longest nine days of our lives, Stephen and I went to the hospital early Monday morning to be induced. After I got all settled in I was put on Pitocin to start contractions and the doctor came in to break my water. 

That's when things started getting a little scary. 

I bled quite a bit when my water broke, more than the doctor was comfortable with. He decided they would just keep an eye on me to make sure everything was alright, but that they wanted to keep me going so I could try to deliver naturally. I got my epidural and waited for the contractions to get stronger. My labor kept going but I didn't feel much pain, which I chalked up to the epidural, but the doctor got more and more worried that I wasn't progressing quickly enough. On top of the fact that I was barely changing in dilation and the baby wasn't moving down, her heart rate was dropping quite a bit every time I had a contraction. The doctor was getting more and more concerned and after about ten hours of labor he started hinting at the possibility of a C-Section.

At the beginning of the pregnancy I would have been terrified at the idea, but for the past week or so I'd been thinking more and more about the possibility of it happening. When the doctor said he was worried about how slowly I was progressing with natural birth and it was getting dangerous for the baby, I told him I was fine with a C-Section and that I was comfortable doing whatever he needed to do. We made the decision right then and there to go ahead with it.

I asked Stephen for a blessing and he and the doctor (who we know is a bishop in a singles ward) gave me one just before the surgery. It really helped both Stephen and I to be more at peace.

Five minutes later we were in the operating room ready to go. Naturally I couldn't see what they were doing past the divider, but Stephen was able to stand next to me and watch the process while he coached me. The anesthesiologist was there with him and was explaining everything and told me to let him know what I could feel so he would know if he needed to turn up my medication. At one point I started to feel some poking so I said "I feel like I'm being poked like under my belly button," and the anesthesiologist said "Oh honey he's cutting,".

Belle had been under a lot of stress during labor and her position was not ideal. After they cut me open they had to use both forceps and the vacuum to get her out. Even through all the numbness I felt a lot of pain and with the anticipation it was a very long ten minutes. Finally the doctor said "Oh, she's got a lot of hair!" and after a moment I heard her cry. At that point Stephen was called over by the nurses to look at her and I lost it. I kept having to tell myself to calm down because shaking and sobbing probably makes it hard for the doctors to stitch you up.

Stephen brought her over to me so I could get a look at her but it would be over an hour before I'd get to hold her. He went down with her to the nursery while she got cleaned up and weighed and I had to wait for 45 minutes in the recovery room while a nurse came in every so often to push on the incision to make sure everything was in place. It was probably the worst hour of my life!

Finally they wheeled me down to the Mother Baby floor where Stephen was waiting. The nurse brought her in and talked for a very long time about something I didn't pay much attention to because I just wanted to hold her and this woman was talking so slow. But FINALLY they handed me my daughter and I was able to relax. 

She is perfect in every way and we love her so much. We are so excited to have our new little family member with us!

Disneyland, Baby Showers, Graduation, and Other Affairs

So it's been four months since my last Blog Post... Apparently I need to be better at this.

Me, in the future :)

So let's see, what did we miss...? Ah, so remember back in January when I was six months pregnant and thought I was huge? Well this is what I look like now:

Yeah.

That's right everyone, Baby Belle is due on Saturday! Whether or not she actually comes when she's supposed to is another story (She's stubborn, but we'll just say she got that from her daddy). I am feeling pretty darn good for being almost 40 weeks, apart from sore feet and an hourly trip to the ladies room, but after all the horror stories I've heard I think I've got it pretty easy! Stephen and I are both very restless waiting for her to get here, but we've been trying to keep busy since my last post to distract ourselves. What did we do?

Well, first, we went to DISNEYLAND!

Needless to say, we had a blast. 

We flew out in February with Stephen's family and spent five days in the park. For anyone planning a trip, the middle to end of February and beginning of March are an absolutely PERFECT time to go! The crowd was almost non-existent and most of the time even big rides like Splash Mountain and Pirates of the Caribbean were only a five minute wait! I was a little worried about slowing everyone down or not being able to enjoy anything, being in the throes of pregnancy and all, but Disneyland is clearly prepared for pregnant women. The first day we were there, Stephen and his family went to ride Indiana Jones and I waited outside (Disneyland has several rides pregnant women aren't allowed to ride for obvious reasons)

So I sat and waited on a bench outside near a mother with two small girls, probably about five and three. The five year old kept staring at me and finally nudged her mom.

"Mom," she said "Why is that lady's belly so big?"

The mom looked over and smiled at me then said to her daughter

"Well that lady is pregnant, so she has a baby inside her belly,"

The daughter looked distressed.

"Well how come she's here all by herself?"

The mom explained that pregnant women were like small girls in that they couldn't ride some of the bigger rides and that I was probably waiting for my family like they were.

"Why can't pregnant people ride the rides?"

"Because it's too bouncy and jerky,"

And the little girl said 

"What, is the baby gonna fall out?"

Anyhow, it was an amazing trip! We ate like Kings

We demolished that Turkey Leg in about ten minutes and I'm pretty sure I ate more than Stephen... We both tried Dole Whips for the first time and were not disappointed (my attempts at finding a recipe to duplicate them has turned up nothing). We also loved the bread bowl gumbo in New Orleans Square. But hands down our favorite dinner that week was from Steakhouse 55. 

It's fancy and pretty pricey but if you can plan for it, the food is amazing! I got a New York Strip and Stephen got a Ribeye and I swear it was the best steak either of us have ever had. Even the salads were great, and we followed up with Creme Brulee that I now have dreams about.

We saw World of Color (not to be missed). Funny story, I went to Disneyland with some friends a few years ago and while walking through California Adventure we saw a water show going on and someone in our group said "Oh, this must be World of Color!" and while it was nice I didn't think much of it. So when Stephen's dad said he got tickets and then we waited almost an hour for the show to start I was thinking "...really? Well it gives me a chance to rest my feet at least,". And then the show started. Guys, that was definitely NOT World of Color. I was amazed!

And we got lots of souvenirs (most of them for Belle)

The Feet. Look at the Feet!

Ours said "Mommy" and "Daddy"

He's a rattle :)

I think the one we had the most fun with was some custom Onesies for Belle.

We bought some blank white onesies and got them signed by all the characters. Since we went at such a good time, most of the characters didn't have lines or anything, but the princesses were a different story. Obviously, we were determined to get Princess Belle's signature, so we actually stood in line at the Princess Pavilion. Stephen will be a good dad, he's willing to stand in line for the Disney Princesses for her and she's not even here yet ;)

After we got home, Stephen's cousin Rob threw him a "Wing and Diaper Party". Most men don't really enjoy sitting through a baby shower, but they deserve some time in the spotlight too. After all, they're going to be dads! So instead of having a baby shower for Stephen, a bunch of the guys brought a pack of diapers to Buffalo Wild Wings where they had all you can eat wings, watched hockey, and enjoyed each other's company. Sadly they didn't get any pictures, but we did end up with enough diapers to last us about three months!

My baby shower was thrown shortly thereafter by my sister Ashley, sister-in-law Janessa, mother, and mother-in-law and it was so much fun!

Everybody wrote little notes to Belle for her scrapbook and we played a game where everyone cut pieces of yarn to see who could get the closest to going around my belly.

Most people went a little too big, but Cousin Elsie got it dead on!

We had a very fun time and Belle got so many cute things

And last but definitely not least, Stephen Graduated!

He got his Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from Utah Valley University. The ceremony was wonderful and we are all very proud of his achievement! He is just thrilled to be done with undergrad.

He doesn't believe me sometimes, but he's the smartest guy I know :)

Nice one, Dad... ;)

He's a smart one alright!

Well, that's just about everything up until now... We are just waiting for our little girl to get here. We're trying to keep busy while we wait, but I can't promise we won't both go crazy in the process.

Next time I post, we'll have a squirmy little baby to show off!