Monday Night with the Swensens

The best thing about going to the hospital is the free water bottle they give you.

I'm not even kidding. Depending on the nature of your stay (the only time I've ever been admitted was for child birth) they give you a wonderful, sturdy, 32 ounce water bottle, complete with straw and lid.

The water bottle in question is the reason I have to take several bathroom breaks every night but I don't care. I love it and so does Stephen. I share, but he has already claimed the souvenir water bottle we'll get for our second child. 

Every night, the last thing I do before bed is fill my water bottle with lots of ice and cold water and we both take a big gulp before we go to sleep.

Last night, due to working fifty hour weeks for year's end, Stephen was so tired that he kept falling asleep during a movie we were watching. Finally I asked if he wanted to turn the movie off and just go to sleep, to which he yawned his agreement. So I filled my water bottle and handed it to him for his nightcap. 

Stephen was so tired he forgot to take into account that the lid has two holes in it for the straw and he tilted it back to drink while lying down. By the time I looked up, half the water had spilled onto his shirt and the sheets.

"Honey!" I warned, but he had realized his mistake. Well actually, he realized his mistake from the beginning but was just too tired to care. But when the water started collecting at his chest and back, his eyes shot open and he stared straight up at the empty void as he lay there, petrified. 

"You have water on you!" I unnecessarily pointed out.

At this point Stephen was still half unconscious but aware enough to realize that sub-zero water was seeping through his shirt and against the sheets onto his skin. 

"Get. It. Off." he commanded in a low growl.

In my mind I responded "What am I, a sponge?" but for reasons even I don't know I reached toward the frigid puddle on his chest as if I could somehow clear the water off him without making it worse. I never reached the puddle though, because at this point the cold finally got to him.

He let out a noise that started as a low moan but in a matter of seconds escalated to a pterodactyl scream and leapt off the bed. He did what I can only describe as a Native American war dance while simultaneously spinning in circles, flapping his arms like a chicken, and ripping off his shirt in one fluid motion. All while screaming. 

Somehow, the baby slept through all this. 

Stephen, now shirtless and traumatized, did his best to dry the sheets with a towel but in the end, we had to use the blow dryer.

So after that little detour, we finally settled into bed. 

"Honey?" Stephen asked. 

"Yeah?" I replied. 

"Can I have a sip of your water?"

Cranioversary

Happy Six Month Cranioversary, Belle!

That's right! It's been six whole months since her surgery in July and we just got the O.K. to stop wearing the helmet for good!

The saddest picture I have

It's been a struggle for all of us, but our little Belle Valory lived up to her name: Beautiful and Brave in every way. She's been a real trooper through the whole ordeal (surgery, helmet, and all) and is truly what they call a Cranio-Hero just like her daddy.

She's made great progress and the doctors say she's recovered beautifully. You can really see a difference in her head shape from when she was first diagnosed:

So, apart from all that head shaping, what else has Belle been up to for the last six months?

Well...

She Learned How to Go to Sleep All By Herself

In what was probably the best impulse decision I've ever made, I borrowed "Solve Your Baby's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber from a friend. Well... it wasn't really an impulse decision, we'd been throwing the idea of sleep training around for a little while but we weren't actually sold on the idea until reading the book (which we ended up buying). First of all its not what you think! It doesn't mean you just let your baby sit and cry until they finally go to sleep, it's a much more hands on approach that deals with teaching your baby how to be independent when it comes to sleep and self soothing. That's where the goofy doll up there comes in handy, he's her little sleep-cuddle buddy. Mommy, Daddy, and Belle are all much less cranky during the day when she sleeps all during the night!

She Learned How to Eat "Big People Food"

After weeks of wanting to sit at the table with the big people at dinnertime and struggling to get whatever delicious morsel was on Mommy's fork, we decided it was time to get her into some baby food. We tried making our own which was easy enough but she just would not eat it. So we just bought some instead and after a few tries she loves it! Her favorites are carrots, squash, and any fruits she can get her hands on (especially apples!)

She Learned How to Dance

She gets her sense of rhythm from her Daddy.

She Grew Enough Hair for Pigtails

Like most babies, Belle has that little bald spot on the back of her head from rubbing up on the car seat (though hers is probably more so from rubbing up on the helmet). But the rest of her hair grows freakishly fast, so much so that even the doctor made a comment about how long her hair was when she was being delivered, so she has two long little wisps of hair that fall down at the back. So what else can we do but pigtails? We pin her long hair as the reason a lot of people guess she's older than she is (it's certainly not her size, she's a little shrimp!)

She Learned How to Crawl

Belle has always had a habit of reaching mostly for things that are either dangerous, painful, or expensive. The family Macbook for example. So when she started rocking back and forth on her hands and knees like she was ready to crawl, I figured I'd give her a little incentive. She just loves to press the keys so I put it a few feet in front of her and what do you know she was off like a shot.

Her Favorite Things to Do Are:

Visit Daddy at Work (and steal his keys)

Play with all her Aunts and Uncles

Help Mommy with the Laundry

Play with all her toys

Play Xbox with Daddy

Take baths with her duckies

Help Grandpa Follett sneak up on Grandma Follett

Watch movies with Grandma and Grandpa Swensen

Smile!

Our Christmas Letter

Dear Friends and Family,

It has been an eventful year for the Swensens! When we started 2013 Kelsi was already four months pregnant and Stephen was just trying to get through his last semester of Undergrad. All that hard work paid off though, and he graduated in April with his Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science. He has since taken the LSAT and applied to several Law Schools. He has already had an acceptance from Michigan State with some scholarship money and is waiting to hear from the rest before we decide were we will end up for law school.

We were blessed with a great opportunity this year; A couple in the ward Stephen grew up in has left on a two year mission as the medical supervisors in Europe and asked if we would house-sit for them. We have been here about six weeks and are loving being able to live in and take care of such a nice, big house!

We handled the pregnancy very impatiently (distracting ourselves with a trip to Disneyland) but were very excited when Baby Belle Valory Swensen finally arrived nine days late on May 27^th. She is beautiful and perfect and we are learning a lot from having her around! When Belle was eight weeks old she underwent a surgery for Craniosynostosis, a condition Stephen also had as a baby, where a suture in her skull fused prematurely and had to be cut out. She recovered incredibly and very quickly and now wears an infant helmet to help shape her skull so it will grow right as she ages. We have had the helmet for almost five months now and only have one more to go! We have felt incredible blessed as she has grown since the surgery and everything has gone perfectly according to all of her doctors.

After 12 weeks of maternity leave Kelsi went back to work but found it pretty difficult to be away from Belle, even in the very early hours of the morning. Luckily Stephen got a job at DMBA, the health and financial benefits company for the Church and its affiliates, and Kelsi was able to quit and become a full time mommy!

Stephen is enjoying his work and is treated very well by his employers. He was hired as a compliance analyst dealing with the retirement financial plans. He has learned a lot about 401(k) plans and the governmental regulations associated with them. He enjoys the “Sherlock Holmes” work—as he calls it—of finding and solving problems associated with the financial benefits of a these employees. Stephen will return to school Fall 2014 for three years of law school where he will receive his Juris Doctorate degree and being working as an attorney.

Kelsi is loving being a stay at home mommy—and couldn’t be happier. She enjoys spending her days taking care of Belle, and seeing her learn and grow on a daily bases. She also decided to dabble in running her own small business on Etsy, and online marketplace, where she sells T-shirts, aprons, and canvas handbags. She has found a lot of success and enjoys letting her creative side out and seeing others enjoy her designs. She has been busy with the new home and is busy being a new mommy and housewife.

At this time of year it is important for us to remember what it is really all about. He know that two thousand years ago the Savior of the world was born, even Jesus Christ. We add our testimonies, along with others, that he lives and is our redeemer. Let us all take time this Christmas Season to reflect upon the true meaning of Christmas. Merry Christmas!

With Love,

The Swensen Family

Craniosynostosis

Well, Monday was Belle's Six Week Cranioversary and she is doing great!

That being the case, a lot of people have been asking about the surgery so I've decided to finally just up and write about it. I've already talked about how she was diagnosed and what the process basically entailed here, so I'll just start at the surgery itself.

We were scheduled to go in for the surgery at 6:00 am (they like to do the youngest children first) so we left for Primary Children's early. This was nice because I wasn't allowed to feed her three hours before so she slept the whole time and didn't cry for being hungry. I did not like being there. I'm particularly sensitive to suffering children (that doubled the minute I became a mom) and this place was full of them.

After what seemed like a long wait they took us back to get her all ready. We met with Dr. Siddiqi (the cranio-facial surgeon), Dr. Riva-Cambrin (the neurosurgeon), and the anesthesiologist (whose name I don't remember), who went over the process with us again and answered any questions we had. 

Finally the anesthesiologist took her back for the surgery. Handing over our little girl was probably the hardest thing either of us have had to do. I'm just glad she was asleep.

They had a waiting room for parents where we stayed. I remember the wait being very long and at one point I went upstairs to use the breast pump room but looking back the wait seems extremely hazy. I remember nothing. Every so often a doctor would come in and have a quick chat with parents, some through different stages of surgery, some finished, and giving them some encouraging news about how their children were doing. All of them just approached the parents in the main room, but when Dr. Siddiqi came in his face was unreadable and he asked us to join him in one of the private rooms. I was panicking, I knew something had gone wrong.

Belle with her surgeon, Dr. Siddiqi

When we got to the room he just smiled and said "Everything went perfectly!"
He gave us some tips on what would happen next and how she would do for the next little while and how to take care of her. He told us they'd call the receptionist when they were ready for us in recovery and I feel like that took forever. But finally she called us and I went down first (only one parent was allowed in at a time). She was still pretty sedated but every once in a while she let out a single, dry, weak sob and a few little tears spilled out of her eyes. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen and very hard.

I sent this picture to Stephen before we switched and he came in to see her. I don't even like looking it.

After that they wheeled us up to her room where she slowly started to wake up. I could tell she was in a lot of pain, so we started her medicine regimen (tylenol and oxycodone). The first day was very hard, she was so unlike herself. We had to move her very carefully and every time we did she would cry.

By the way that's iodine on her head not blood...

She slept all night even though we didn't. First of all we were on a very tiny and uncomfortable strip of rubber padding trying to wind ourselves around each other enough to fit and second, well...

We WERE in a hospital after all... I finally got a few hours when Stephen gave up and just sat in the equally uncomfortable chair for a while. When I woke up and realized he was there I made him get some sleep as well and he said he felt like a bad husband because every time someone (the nurses, lactation consultant, resident, etc) he was asleep!

Anyway the important thing is that by that morning Belle had made huge strides. She was acting like her old self and she was no longer in as much pain. She was even able to breastfeed like normal instead of bottle feeding! By 2:00 that afternoon they came in and told us she was ready to go home.

We kept her on her medicine regimen for about a week, but we only gave her the oxycodone for a few days on the regimen and as needed from there because it made her really sleepy...

About a week or so after her surgery she was fitted for her helmet and we got it about another week later. They warned us beforehand they had to cut it big so she could grow into it and not be uncomfortable, but MAN that thing was like a fishbowl!

We started getting her used to the helmet bywearing it off and on every other hour, the second day was two on, one off, the third day was four on, one off, the fourth day was eight on, one off, and finally we phased her into twenty three on one off. She has gotten used to it now and has filled it in a bit. It's a bummer covering up all her cute hair but at least her skull will be shaped right!

Long story short, Belle is doing Great!

Happy Birthday Stephen!

Somebody's turning 25!

Happy Birthday Stephen!
We Love You!
<3 Kelsi and Belle

Surgery for Belle

It's been confirmed. Our little Belle is going to need surgery.

When she was born she had some swelling in her head that they believed was due to the vacuum and forceps that had to be used to get her out during delivery, but they wanted to keep an eye on it just in case. So when she was two days old, our pediatrician, Dr. Mumford, came by to meet us and check on Belle. When he looked at her skull he felt along the back and the top and was concerned by some raised sutures. He said that may have been because of some prematurely closed spots on her skull. 

This was starting to sound horribly familiar, so I asked "Is it Craniosynostosis?"

Dr. Mumford looked surprised that I knew the term, so I told him Stephen had had it when he was a baby. 

Craniosynostosis is when one or more of the sutures in an infant's skull fuses to bone prematurely, leaving their skull with an odd shape and the brain with no room to grow or develop. Stephen had surgery for his when he was nine months old and has metal plates in his head and a long scar that goes ear to ear around his head from the surgery. Overall, his seemed very intense.

Dr. Mumford said that he wanted to keep an eye on it and that if the raised suture didn't go down in swelling we would need to see a specialist to go over our options, so at that point all we could do was wait. I called Stephen (who had gone home to take a shower and had just barely missed the pediatrician) and explained what the doctor had told me and he came back to the hospital minutes later. 

We were both pretty worried and spent the day in a fair state of emotional wreckage, but that night Stephen gave her her first father's blessing and we knew everything would be alright.

The sutures didn't end up going down so at Belle's checkup after we were discharged they set us up with a specialist at Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake. Naturally we couldn't see him right away so we had to wait about a week to know for sure what would need to be done about her head. 

It was agonizing.

Finally the day came and we left bright and early to go see Dr. Siddiqi. We had read and heard great things, he is the Chief Pediatric Cranio/Facial Surgeon at Primary Children's, one of the best pediatric hospitals in the country, so we were very happy with that. We got there and checked in at the clinic for the consultation, a process that took way too long. I had a bit of a difficult time getting a rather inept secretary to understand the concept of Medicaid, but eventually we got back to the exam room. Finally we were about to see the doctor!

Then a receptionist came in and told us they didn't take our insurance.

She went on to explain that they take Medicaid at the hospital itself, but not at the clinic, and we would have to reschedule an appointment to see Dr. Siddiqi at the hospital for next week.

I think I almost had an aneurism right then and there.

As we were getting ready to leave, the Doctor walked in and said "Insurance trouble?". We let him know the situation and, possibly knowing how worried we were, said he'd go ahead with the consultation "off the books". 

We really like our surgeon!

After a quick exam he was able to tell us that Belle has the most common type of craniosynostosis, in which the sagittal suture is fused (this is about 55% of synostosis cases). Since she has only one fused suture its referred to as "Simple Synostosis". Stephen's metopic suture was closed (which only affects about 5-15% of cases) and he didn't have a soft spot making it a "Complex Synostosis". She will be in surgery for an hour and a half and will only have to stay in the hospital for two days with no time in Infant ICU.

He explained that Belle will need surgery at around 2 months old. They will make two simple incisions and remove a section of the bone where the suture should be. This will basically give her one large soft spot and she will need to wear an infant helmet for six months to get her skull properly shaped. The best part of it all is how low risk the surgery is. The surgery has been refined and perfected since Stephen had it almost twenty five years ago and we feel very blessed to be close to such a good hospital and have such an experienced surgeon.

Belle is already proving to be a little trooper and will be just fine with a little recovery time!

Things We Learned from Having a Baby

Babies will sometimes give you a little warning look when something bad is about to happen

For the record, this is Belle's "Poopy Face":

"Parental Instinct" is very real
We have never had more erratic sleep in our lives. Not because Belle is a bad sleeper, she is actually pretty good for a newborn, but because every sound sends us flying out of bed to check if she is still breathing. At the hospital I set an alarm to make sure she woke up at least every four hours to eat and I found myself sitting up in bed ten minutes before feeding time, wide awake, saying "Alright I'm ready!". Yesterday she was taking a nap in her bassinet just a few feet away from Stephen and I on the couch when we heard what sounded like throwing up. Not spit up, this sounded like substantial throw up. We both shot up and sprinted across the room, sending things flying off the coffee table as we scrambled to get to her. Stephen picked her up immediately and went for the bulb syringe while we checked to see if she was choking when I noticed a little wet stain on the mattress where her diaper used to be.
"Honey?" I said "I think that was just poop..."
We stood there in wild-eyed adrenaline fueled confusion for a moment before we agreed that maybe we were just a little wound up.

Sometimes it can be really nerve wracking. Belle had some swelling in her head from the vacuum and forceps (they had to use both even though it was a C-Section) and someone from our pediatrician's office came down to check on her. She had a very tender spot on the back of her head that had been hurting her and the doctor went in and pressed on it, feeling around like it was nobody's business. Belle let out a little pained squeal and started to cry and I nearly jumped out of bed and punched the woman in the face, anesthesia, stitches, and all. Luckily our actual pediatrician was much more gentle with her!

As soon as you change their poopy diaper, they will poop again

I don't know. It's just nature.

Maternity Nurses may be the most caring and patient people on the planet
Sure, I knew that nurses have a hard job and they had to take care of people, but I guess you don't realize how much that means until you are that person. Obviously being cut open, having your insides exposed, and losing thirty pounds of water and human baby leaves you in need of a little help with simple things like using the bathroom and being a paranoid first time parent leaves you with a lot of questions that could probably be considered really dumb. But when you're stressed and in pain and worried and you have no idea what to do it's really nice to be able to pick up the phone and have someone in your room within a minute to help you. After my surgery they told me I'd need to stay for five days and I wasn't really happy about it, but after the first night I was so grateful I'd have the nurses and doctors there to help with all those first time parent problems.

Sometimes Daddies make the best Swaddlers and Burpers
Neither swaddling or burping a baby is rocket science. It's not difficult and anyone can really do it. Or so they say... For some reason, Belle sleeps longer and deeper when Stephen's the one to burp and swaddle her after she eats. I've been told babies like mens' voices because they're deeper and that tends to soothe them, but maybe it's because he's just a better cuddler!

Have Patience

Of course have patience with the newborn, they are completely helpless and they can't control anything that's going on. That's a given. This breaks down more into two categories.

First, be patient with others. Having a baby is only hard for the parents (and probably the baby). Everyone else is just excited. First, you'll get a ton of unsolicited advice, most of which is welcome, but the problems come mostly from our more... well, elderly friends and families. Advice gems such as "Put jelly on the tip of the baby's bottle so they'll take it," or "Don't put lotion on your baby because their skin needs to get tougher and lotion is just making them weak,". Some of those older theories on childcare can be baffling, but it doesn't hurt to smile and nod and then just write it down to make jokes about later. 

People also tend to be a little insensitive, most of the time unintentionally. I was talking to a friend just days after Belle was born about how the doctor told me it was unlikely I'd be able to have a natural delivery and that, because of my body type, I'd most likely have to have C-Sections with the rest of my children. I was expressing some sadness at this because I wanted the experience of a natural delivery and this friend, with the honest intent of comforting me, said something to the effect of "It's okay, C-Sections are the easy way out anyway,". This made me feel even worse. Not only did it de-value a scary birth experience, it hurt my feelings. Things have been said offhand by multiple people since then that I have to remember are meant with the best of intentions. No one is trying to make you feel bad.

Second, be patient with yourself. Because of post-partum (this can affect dads too by the way), overwhelming lack of sleep, inexperience, and the aforementioned unintentional insensitivity, it's hard to not feel like a bad parent sometimes. Just remember that you're not. You and your baby are both new at this.

Do What Works

Maybe we can chalk this up to the fact that Belle had been held almost non-stop by not only her parents, but by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and extended family for the first week of life while we were still in the hospital, but she absolutely refused to sleep if she was not in my or Stephen's arms. We had her bassinet all ready to go, right next to our bed, and she would cry immediately if we put her in there to sleep. After a few nights of struggling, we gave up. I slept out in the living room (Belle curled up on my chest) on a recliner that laid back a lot like how the hospital bed worked and Stephen slept next to us on the couch for moral support and late night diaper changes. At least this way we could get a decent night's sleep. 

We did this for a few nights while we tried to figure out the bassinet. At one point I put her down on a pillow sitting on my legs while I opened some mail and she settled right in. We tried that in the bassinet and while that was better, she still wasn't staying in there very long. Eventually we figured out she was cold because the pillowcase was a more silky material, so after putting the pillow in the bassinet and covering it with a flannel blankie, she is now sleeping in her bassinet for stretches of over four hours!

It Gets Easier

We made a mind blowing discovery soon after Belle was born: Being a parent is hard. It's something you hear all the time and think you understand until you have the baby and your life spirals out of the ordinary. That first week is killer. Your sleep schedule is thrown out of control, you do very little outside of caring for a small, living, feeling thing, and on top of it all, you can't communicate. Being a newborn has got to be the worst. Not only do you have very little control over your body, you have no way of indicating what's bothering you. And if you're the firstborn, you get to put your life in the hands of two greenies who can barely change a diaper. Basically, it's difficult for everyone involved.

But it does get better.

Easier may not be the best way of putting it, because being a parent is always hard, but it becomes "easier-hard". For example Belle's first week of life was insanity with her sleeping schedule. She would sleep for an hour then wake up hungry and repeat all night long until Stephen and I were both bleary-eyed zombies. We thought it was going to be that way forever and we were both going crazy. But by the second week things started to change. I don't imagine it's always a two week adjustment, it may be longer or shorter, but we've realized that with everything that has presented a challenge (sleeping, nursing, diaper changing, baby gas) it has gotten easier-hard.